Every morning Dru the Roo greets me as I open up the Big Coop. All his ladies are in the back by the water cooler, and Dru stands at the entrance with conviction, waiting for me to make my move.
My moves are varied. Sometimes I’m reaching for an early egg. Most of the time, I come bearing the pooper scooper. Eventually, I must change the water and open the door to the run.
Dru considers ALL of my moves an invasion of the sanctity of his home. You see, each night, Dru forgets who pays for his coop and food, and that I, am in fact, the Head Roo.
So, each morning, Dru declares his “dominance” with ninja moves as I reach into the coop. He knows better to get too carried away, but he does hop around like a like Cobra Kai, trying to sweep my leg. He drops his wing and hops around some more, feigning beak attacks on the pooper scooper. He makes a right mess with the shavings. He gives me the stink eye.
My moves are varied. Sometimes I’m reaching for an early egg. Most of the time, I come bearing the pooper scooper. Eventually, I must change the water and open the door to the run.
Dru considers ALL of my moves an invasion of the sanctity of his home. You see, each night, Dru forgets who pays for his coop and food, and that I, am in fact, the Head Roo.
So, each morning, Dru declares his “dominance” with ninja moves as I reach into the coop. He knows better to get too carried away, but he does hop around like a like Cobra Kai, trying to sweep my leg. He drops his wing and hops around some more, feigning beak attacks on the pooper scooper. He makes a right mess with the shavings. He gives me the stink eye.
The Stink Eye.
Unfortunately for my ferocious rooster, Dru is a Bantam Cochin, so he is so stinking cute and fluffy, his ninja moves are mostly comical. Ferocious, but comical.
This morning, fueled by my “Jet Fuel” coffee, I decided to pay the proper respects to my Ninja Chicken.
As I approached the coop, I did my best impression of a Kung Fu movie, making all the best Kung Fu sounds. This put Dru on high alert and he crowed at me from inside the closed coop.
I stood at the opposite end of the coop I usually open first, as I figured that was the Ninja thing to do. I was armed with my new aluminum scoop from Tractor Supply. It’s just lovely - a nice heft to it. I struck my best Chuck Norris pose and flung open the door and faced down Dru the Roo. I announced myself properly: I’m Walker. Walker, Texas Ranger. Then I made more Kung Fu sounds and brandished my scoop like a samurai sword.
Do you know what my chicken did? I couldn’t believe it. He flew out of that coop right at my face, and I swear he was doing a roundhouse kick with his feathered feet.
This morning, fueled by my “Jet Fuel” coffee, I decided to pay the proper respects to my Ninja Chicken.
As I approached the coop, I did my best impression of a Kung Fu movie, making all the best Kung Fu sounds. This put Dru on high alert and he crowed at me from inside the closed coop.
I stood at the opposite end of the coop I usually open first, as I figured that was the Ninja thing to do. I was armed with my new aluminum scoop from Tractor Supply. It’s just lovely - a nice heft to it. I struck my best Chuck Norris pose and flung open the door and faced down Dru the Roo. I announced myself properly: I’m Walker. Walker, Texas Ranger. Then I made more Kung Fu sounds and brandished my scoop like a samurai sword.
Do you know what my chicken did? I couldn’t believe it. He flew out of that coop right at my face, and I swear he was doing a roundhouse kick with his feathered feet.
Little bugger. I guess I asked for it. I’m pretty sure it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s either that or that scene in Bubba Ho Tep when “Elvis” attacks the scarab beetle with a bed pan.
For those of you worried about how this Chicken Lawyer adventure ended, fear not. I dropped my new scoop, grabbed Dru mid-air, and used my most fearsome Kung Fu move on him. I gave him a hug. He hates hugs!
For those of you worried about how this Chicken Lawyer adventure ended, fear not. I dropped my new scoop, grabbed Dru mid-air, and used my most fearsome Kung Fu move on him. I gave him a hug. He hates hugs!
And that, my friends, is how to out Ninja a Ninja Chicken...
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