Willow, Production Red This time last year, I was counting down the days to Chick Days at Orscheln's, staying up late plotting my chicken empire. There was full-fledged chicken fever at The Chicken Lawyer’s farm, and I’m happy to report The Chicken Lawyer has NOT been cured!
I have resisted any urges to get even more chickens this Spring by getting a gigantic dog to occupy my time and planning a visit to a local farm that ordered over 200 chicks for my “Chick Fix”. I promise to take pictures.
Since I am not setting up brooders or hatching eggs, I have a few moments to reflect on my first year of Chicken Learnin’. Are you becoming a crazy chicken person this year? Perhaps you would like to know what schooling you are in for?
I have resisted any urges to get even more chickens this Spring by getting a gigantic dog to occupy my time and planning a visit to a local farm that ordered over 200 chicks for my “Chick Fix”. I promise to take pictures.
Since I am not setting up brooders or hatching eggs, I have a few moments to reflect on my first year of Chicken Learnin’. Are you becoming a crazy chicken person this year? Perhaps you would like to know what schooling you are in for?
Angel, Old English Silverback Bantam Let me see if I can help. Here are some lessons from my first year of chicken ownership.
#1 - You cannot have enough weather apps on your phone. Get them all. You will very soon need to be able to predict when it is a good idea to let the chickens out, so get cracking. You can’t just trust the weatherman. On a similar vein, you will soon know when the sun rises and when it sets with pin-point accuracy, because if you don’t, opossums will eat your chickens. Don’t worry, they have apps for that, too.
#1 - You cannot have enough weather apps on your phone. Get them all. You will very soon need to be able to predict when it is a good idea to let the chickens out, so get cracking. You can’t just trust the weatherman. On a similar vein, you will soon know when the sun rises and when it sets with pin-point accuracy, because if you don’t, opossums will eat your chickens. Don’t worry, they have apps for that, too.
Buffy, White Sex-link #2 - You are about to eat healthier. And I’m not just talking better eggs and meat from your birds, I’m talking about a dramatic change in the things you will buy at the grocery store. Your birds will so very much enjoy grapes, apples, zucchini, watermelon, cantaloupe, raisins, lettuce, yogurt, rhubarb, etc., that you will find yourself planning meals around desirable leftovers for your flock. In fact, you may find you forgot to buy groceries for yourself at the grocery store, because you were so excited about the great deal on pears for the chickens, and you will have no choice but to eat pears, too. If you are not careful, you will be GROWING YOUR OWN SPROUTS by Fall!
Spike, Barred Rock #3 - Zip ties, bungees, and tarp straps are your friend. Zip zip! You’ll be rigging up coop inventions and new ways to water and feed your birds in no time. The first time the weather is set to hit single digits (which you will of course be ready for, See #1), you will be out in your coop running cords and stacking hay bales and fashioning special devices to keep your chickens from getting frostbite, so get down with your inner MacGyver and stock up on your zip ties.
#4 - You will experience the joy of giving. Giving eggs that is... People love farm fresh eggs. You can give them to your mom, your aunts, your cousins, your friends, the carpenter that makes cabinets and gives you shavings for the coop in bags so big you can’t move them, the local 4-H kid that needs a project, and don’t get me started on how popular you will be on Easter!
#4 - You will experience the joy of giving. Giving eggs that is... People love farm fresh eggs. You can give them to your mom, your aunts, your cousins, your friends, the carpenter that makes cabinets and gives you shavings for the coop in bags so big you can’t move them, the local 4-H kid that needs a project, and don’t get me started on how popular you will be on Easter!
Dru the Roo, Bantam Cochin #5 - Prepare yourself for the onslaught of chicken kitsch & chotchkies. And chicken memes. When people see anything that remotely resembles chickens, they will think of you, and they will tag you on Facebook. I don’t know if it is all the good egg giving karma, but I’ve gotten some sweet chicken stuff this year. It may seem small, but another bonus is that you now have your very own unique ice breaker. Everyone loves a good chicken story. I don’t think it is any coincidence that THE quintessential joke is about a chicken.
Tara, Production Red #6 - You cannot tell a chicken what to do, so you will become a skilled chicken coaxer. For example, there will be times when you need to get your chickens up in the coop, when they would much rather continue free-ranging. You will probably be wearing a suit that day. You cannot yell at a chicken or even chase chickens into a coop. You will try, and you might get some of them in, but you will not get all of the chickens in, so just calm down and learn to woo your chickens. It’s easier said then done, but you will develop chicken finesse with time.
Chickens love their routines, so anytime you need to change it, plan on a certain amount of coaxing!
Chickens love their routines, so anytime you need to change it, plan on a certain amount of coaxing!
Cordie, Silkie #7 - I think the absolute best thing about raising chickens is the “Running Chicken.” I know I cried laughing the first time I watched my chickens learn to run on the concrete floor in my garage. Don’t miss the chance to see your chickens run. If you can let them free range, do. I solemnly believe they would choose to take the risk of predation for a good run. It’s your call to make, but I am still thrilled every time I see my chickens come running across the yard to greet me - wobble wobble hop hop running leap little air big flop big smile keep running Forrest run. That’s the Cherokee name for my chicken, Cordie, BTW.
#8 - Cancel your 2-week cruise to Greece. Nobody wants to watch your chickens that long. While chickens do much on their own, they require food, water, and someone to shut the coop door every single day. Your chickens will also require something I did not appreciate until I got my chickens - “animal husbandry.” Some of your chickens will be aggressive, and someone is going to get the sniffles, and someday you will find yourself watching videos on YouTube on how perform surgery on an impacted crop. I wish you luck, but listen to those boy scouts: Always be prepared.
#9 - Welcome to the world of Crazy Chicken People. Chicken people are the best. Most likely, you will discover that you have 2,000 fabulous pictures of your chickens on your phone, and you will want to share them all. You might start a blog and inflict them on your friends and family, but you will also discover that there is a chicken community out there on the internet and in your town that will embrace your chicken pictures and raise you 4,000.
They will sit up late with you and help you calculate the proper dosage of Duramycin for your sick chicken, which will not be on the package. They will help you find a home for your “Too Many Roos" and give you a giant dog. They will be compilers of chicken raising information, enablers of your chicken habit, and consolers when you lose a friend, be it human or chicken. I’ve been inspired by many chicken people. While I can’t speak for them all, I feel confident in saying - “C’mon over! We can’t wait to meet you and talk some poultry!”
They will sit up late with you and help you calculate the proper dosage of Duramycin for your sick chicken, which will not be on the package. They will help you find a home for your “Too Many Roos" and give you a giant dog. They will be compilers of chicken raising information, enablers of your chicken habit, and consolers when you lose a friend, be it human or chicken. I’ve been inspired by many chicken people. While I can’t speak for them all, I feel confident in saying - “C’mon over! We can’t wait to meet you and talk some poultry!”
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