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The Chicken Lawyer
Est. 2013

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Jurassic Park: Chicken Lawyer Style

1/24/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
Sometimes, when it is negative degrees outside like it tends to be lately, The Chicken Lawyer leaves the chickens in the coop and enjoys a pot of steamy hot coffee  in the morning.   

This is when I tend to dream up elaborate schemes to finance my chicken obsession.  As an old acquaintance from college has taken to reminding me, chickens are gateway animals, so when I say chicken obsession, I really envision: 

  • a beautiful red barn for 10 goats, 6 alpacas, and 3 donkeys
  • about 100 chickens in 5 awesome coops, one of which will be a hobbit hole coop
  • 12 giant fluffy grey-white geese wandering my yard
  • 2 well-trained pyrenees
  • a goat tower
  • another barn for sheep plus my favorite hybrid, sheep-goats.
PictureWhat do you mean, too many roosters?
That’s about it for now.  I do believe this would properly solidify my hermit status and give me plenty of fodder for The Chicken Lawyer Blog.  Of course, I will keep Grasshopper and Maverick, but they prefer to remain inside, and away from all this nonsense.  So far, I have:
  • 14 chickens
  • too many roosters
  • 1 rickety old red barn
  • 2 awesome chicken coops
  • 1 old shed that looks good in pictures, but is about to fall in
  • 1 old hog nursery building begging me to convert it to a chicken coop 
  • fences in all the wrong places
  • abundance of passion, very few useful skills.

PictureCordie, auditioning for role as Lead Compy
This morning, I thought perhaps I could afford expanding 14 chickens to a Chicken Lawyer menagerie if I could charge admission.  But everyone in Osage County has their own farm, so why would they want to pay to see another???

Then, I thought of Jurassic Park.  (You randomly think of Jurassic Park, too, right? )  I was briefly enamored with the thought of building a Jurassic Park and filling its pens and fields with my 100 chickens.  You remember the Velociraptor pen? That could be for my barred rock roosters....  Compsognathus (Compys) could easily be portrayed by my Silkie chickens.... 

AND HOW FUN WOULD IT BE to rig up an outhouse that occasionally gets eaten by a giant chicken T-Rex? Imagine strategically placed outhouse below, plus some feathers and a beak on that T-Rex!  
PictureImage courtesy of Domdeen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.





Alas, how can I be a hermit while running a dino/poultry amusement park in my backyard?  

Inspired, I immediately searched the internet to see if someone else has built a Jurassic Park with chickens that I could go visit, but I did not find one.  I did find that the movie "Chicken Park" was produced in 1994 to parody Jurassic Park, and that interestingly one of the inspirations for Jurassic Park (Paleontologist Jack Horner) was uttering something for the last few years about using genetically modified chickens to grow dinosaurs.  Did someone at Tyson give Jack a job?

Hmmmm, maybe I can host retreats for eccentric paleontologists to observe chicken behaviors to fund my chicken paradise. I've always wanted to put my Paleobiology Minor to good use!
2 Comments
Fawn @ Instead of the Dishes link
1/26/2014 12:35:25 am

Tee Hee. Chickens are a gateway animal - love that. My mom and sister have chickens and are planning a weekend in St. Louis (a 4 hours drive) centered around picking up some kind of blue cross-breed chicken in Union, MO. Maybe you could add that to your menagerie list. Last summer my husband built me not one, but 8 square foot garden plots. I have been spending a lot of time lately dreaming up themes for each one. I did not think of Jurrasic Park though...;)

Reply
The Chicken Lawyer
1/26/2014 01:54:06 am

Themed garden plots - awesome! Please please come back and do a guest post when you have them planted. I want to see pictures! And your mom and sis can do a post on blue chickens! Are they going to see Aaron? I know he's got a lot of chickens in Union - I would like to go see them myself! Linn is about an hour from there!

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    The Chicken Lawyer

    Amy M. Miller, owner of 7+3+4-1+4-1 -2 chickens (+ 1 cockatiel named Chicken). Occasionally has something to say and plans to say it here.

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