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The Chicken Lawyer
Est. 2013

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And the Videos here!

Saying Goodbye to Skip

4/2/2016

1 Comment

 
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When you love your chickens and your new life of keeping chickens, you dread the day you will lose your first chicken.  You probably follow the lives of many chicken keepers and have learned from their experiences.  You may have heeded the wise advice of The Chicken Chick and researched in advance your options.  You have perhaps sat in the sun watching your chickens scamper in the yard and contemplated the more difficult responsibilities of being a chicken shepherd.

I, myself, began adventures in chicken keeping on March 6, 2013.  A few days ago, I lost my first chicken on March 30, 2016.  Surely, I was blessed to have 3 years with chickens to prepare me for my first goodbye.  An admitted softy, I often wondered if I had what it takes for a farming life.  Or more pointedly, a farming death.  Looking back now, I see that, like always, my chickens showed me the ropes.  If you pay close enough attention, chickens will show you a lot of things you didn’t know. Chickens are little Mr. Miagi’s running around  your yard catching grasshoppers and slipping lessons in your life. 

The first lesson from chickens is always about life.  Life is about living, and living means dropping everything you’re doing and spreading your wings in the sun when the sun hits the right spot.  Living means devouring a watermelon rind, despite a firm peck on the head from your ring leader, because watermelon is worth it.  Living is about playing in dirt, talking to your friends, building the perfect nest, balancing just right on your roost, and showing off your spaghetti noodles.  When you are alive, you come sprinting when the farmer has her special bucket of scratch, and you really don’t care at all about how ridiculous you look.

Chickens also know a thing or two about bravery, so I don’t know why calling someone a chicken means they are a coward.  I’ve known 18 chickens quite well, and not a one of them is a coward.  Yes, they are prey animals, but this materializes as alertness, not cowardice.  My chickens have faced dogs, coyotes, bald eagles, hawks, lawn mowers, and me trying to build things with power tools outside their coop, but when the coop door opens, not one hesitates to bolt out the door.  Unless, of course, it is snowing.  They are brave, not crazy.

It seems as though my chooks likewise have a much better grasp of the facts of life than many humans.  One particular notion that seems to trouble us, and not them, is that life is not fair.  Chickens don’t waste much time being disappointed.  You don’t see many whining chickens.  (Unless, someone is in their nesting box or you move their coop, in which case all bets are off.)  My hens don’t even seem to mind making me an egg for breakfast once a day, when the whole laying process seems rather daunting to me.  I admire the adaptable, no-nonsense nature of chickens, and therein they’ve taught me another lesson.

When Skip first got sick, I thought she had a broken wing because it would drag on the ground.  I tried to bandage it up for her.  She let me know this was complete nonsense by shedding her bandages the second I looked away.  Six times.   I’m a little slow sometimes, but chickens are patient teachers.  “So, I can’t fly around or roost high anymore – that is no reason to waste time in bandages,” Skip told me with her beak as I tried the seventh time.  I trimmed her wing feathers so they did not drag, and she enjoyed almost another month of life with her friends.

One morning, I noticed Skip had isolated herself from the flock and was lying down instead of exploring like usual.  Her sister, Glory, came over to investigate, and Skip struggled to get up and escape.   Glory viciously attacked, and I intervened.  Skip came to live in my garage.  While Skip’s legs could move, Skip could not seem to tell them which way to move.  I would come out to the garage and find her flipped over, feet just pedaling air.  Skip thought this was bull shit.  She told me so with her eyes. 
I tried to fix Skip, but all of my home remedies failed.  When she stopped eating and drinking, I knew the day I dreaded since falling in love with my chickens 3 years ago was approaching.  Skip half-heartedly nibbled some watermelon, and told me I better get on with it.

I reached out to some colleagues hailing from Kentucky, who had to leave behind their own chickens to move to Missouri.  You see, my colleagues were also trained by their chickens, so when we met, we had instantly recognized each other as good chicken people and begun to flock together as friends.  My friends came to visit my farm for the first time, and they met Skip and oohed over her pretty feathers, which I’m sure Skip appreciated.

Together the three of us carried Skip, a sharp knife, and a stool over to a yellow wooden shed that has been on my farm longer than me.  Spring rain tapped the metal roof of the shed as we talked and made preparations.  I held Skip for quite a while, probably longer than I should have as one of my friends was sitting patiently in the rain waiting for me to hand Skip over.  But it was not too long, and my friends understood.  I told Skip she was loved.  It is not easy to hand over your feathered friend to someone with a knife, even when you know it is the right thing to do.

But, I remembered my chicken lessons.  Life is about living, and Skip was surely dying.  What life she had left would not be considered a life by a chicken.  It was time to be brave.  It was time to face the facts of life.  I watched my chicken leave the world, thankful for kind friends to help me through the process.

For those of you reading this in preparation for your own dreadful day, I would like you to know that making the decision to euthanize is much more difficult than the process itself, when done humanely.  Skip left life and me with another lesson.  Living is much harder than dying.   While it was tempting to let Skip die naturally to avoid participating in the process, I am glad now that I did not prolong her struggle.  With the help of friends and lessons from my chickens, I was able to do something I never would have imagined doing circa 2013.  I hope Skip’s lesson can help you make your difficult decisions with peace of mind and heart.

In Memory of Skip

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Once again, it has been too long...

12/24/2015

1 Comment

 
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Hi! My name is Chicken!
What a year of chickens!  I suppose if my chicken mania was going to subside over time, it would have happened by now.  Alas, I am still afflicted with Obsessive Chicken Disorder (OCD).  My friends and family have even caught on to my chickens' names and personal sagas.  I thought I would just jot down a few signs that you, too, may have OCD...
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No Shame here!
#1.  You have no shame sharing the personal sagas of your chickens with friends and family.  And possibly the public at large, via social media and your own blog about chickens.  Seriously, if you experience any shame, you are still good. 

#2.  You took a day off work because you had a sick chicken, but went to work when you were sick!  (Indeed, your co-workers were not surprised; they even cheered when you brought your chicken back from death's door three times.)

#3.  You came home with four new chickens, so you could have green eggs, too!
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#4.  You joined a Christmas Gift Exchange with a bunch of people that call themselves "Chickenistas."  Note, there is probably no coming back for you at this point.

#5.  You have instantaneous kinship with other chicken people.  They are your flock now.

#6. Someone cared enough about you and your chicken obsession to paint you a personalized chicken portrait of your favorite rooster.
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Thank you, Makayla James! A+++ from the Chicken Lawyer!

​ #7.  You named your cockatiel "Chicken."

#8.  At least 3,792 people tagged you in a post related to chicken sweaters, swings, harnesses, or gigantic purple chicken coops this year.  And you liked it, you chicken freak!

#9.  You have an inventory of chicken names in stock for the future.  (If you watched all the Downton Abbey's and all you could think of was naming your next chickens Lady Mary, Edith, Anna, Mrs. Hughes, Bates, Sybil, Daisy, Cora, and Mrs. Patmore, then you should call me!  We should be friends!)

Last, but not least!


#10.  Your mother demands a photo calendar of her "Grandchickens" -- and you make a 16-month calendar.  12 is not enough!
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Every day with chickens is a blessing - my best to you and yours in 2016!
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Ask your chicken these questions and...

6/16/2015

0 Comments

 
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WITHOUT ANY prompting, ask your chicken these questions and write down EXACTLY what the chicken says. It is a great way to find out what he/she really thinks.

1. What is something your farmer always says to you? “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!”

2. What makes your farmer happy? “FLUFFY BUTTS”

3. What makes your farmer sad? “WHEN I EAT HER PLANTS”
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4. How does your farmer make you laugh? “WHEN SHE TRIES TO CATCH THE ROOSTER”

5. What was your farmer like as a child? “IS SHE OLD? I DIDN’T KNOW.”

6. How old is your farmer? “APPARENTLY PRETTY OLD”

7. How tall is your farmer? “SHE IS GINORMOUS – YOU SHOULD SEE HER IN HEELS”

8. What is her favorite thing to do? “TAKE PICTURES OF ME”

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9. What does your farmer do when you're not around? “SHE GOES TO THE FEED STORE”

10. If your farmer becomes famous, what will it be for? “THECHICKENLAWYER.COM”

11. What is your farmer really good at? “WATERMELON”

12. What is your farmer not very good at? “SKUNKS”

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13. What does your farmer do for a job? “WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SUPPORT HER CHICKEN HABIT”

14.What is your farmer's favorite food? “THANKFULLY, NOT CHICKEN”

15.What makes you proud of your farmer? “SHE DOES CATCH THAT ROOSTER”

16. If your farmer were a character, who would she be? “MACGYVER – YOU SHOULD SEE HER RIG UP A CHICKEN WATERING SYSTEM”

17. What do you and your farmer do together? “LOOK FOR BUGS”

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18. How are you and your farmer the same? “WE LOVE THE SIMPLE LIFE”

19. How are you and your farmer different? “SHE’S NOT A MORNING PERSON”

20. How do you know your farmer loves you? “SOMETIMES SHE GIVES US THE WHOLE WATERMELON”

21. What does your farmer like most about you? “SHE LIKES FLUFFY BUTTS AND SHE CANNOT LIE”

22. Where is your farmer's favorite place to go? “HOME TO ME”

23. How old was your Farmer when you were born? “I DUNNO, BUT SHE WAS BUSY READING THE INTERNETS ABOUT CHICKENS.  SHE DIDN’T LEARN MUCH- STILL HAD TO SHOW HER THE ROPES WHEN WE GOT HERE.”
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A Chicken Lawyer Tribute to Lawyers with Chickens!

7/12/2014

5 Comments

 
PictureLaura's new flock of 1L's.
The Chicken Lawyer website was established in 2013, primarily for 3 reasons!

1. The Chicken Lawyer had too many chicken pictures;

2. The Chicken Lawyer had too much fun saying “Chicken Lawyer”;

3. The Chicken Lawyer wanted to promote 2 notions:

     * Keeping chickens is fun!

     * Lawyers can be fun, too!

Since venturing out onto the Internet, The Chicken Lawyer has discovered other lawyers with chickens, so today’s blog is a compliment to just a few other J.D.’s with too many chicken pictures!

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Doc Brown & Kathy Shea Mormino, The Chicken Chick®.
Of course, no tribute to lawyers with chickens would be complete without a tribute to Kathy Shea Mormino, The Chicken Chick®. 

Kathy runs an impressive chicken keeping enterprise! She has a flock of over 50 beautiful chickens and is the founder and one-woman driving-force behind her blog The-Chicken-Chick.com and Facebook page (which is a Chicken Lawyer favorite!). 

Kathy writes for Hobby Farms Chickens and Hobby Farms Home magazines and online blogs belonging to Mother Earth News Magazine, Grit Magazine and Manna Pro Poultry.   She’s even brought the world of chicken-keeping into The Wall Street Journal!

The Chicken Lawyer did a little dance of joy when The Chicken Chick® enthusiastically agreed to contribute her story and pictures to this blog, but it should have been no surprise.  Kathy tirelessly shares her practical chicken-keeping experiences with the world and has a genuine passion for sharing an appreciation for chickens as pets with fellow chicken-keepers and non-chicken-keepers alike!
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Kathy's new Olive Egger putting in long hours at the office.
What you may not realize is that Kathy is a lawyer, too!  She practiced law in Connecticut and worked for the Connecticut Judicial System as well as in private practice as an insurance defense litigator of special investigations fraud cases. She is a graduate of the University of Connecticut School of Law.  The Chicken Lawyer wonders if Kathy’s old law school classmates follow Kathy’s chickens!  How could you not?  She has Black Copper Marans, Ameraucanas, Cochins, Seramas, Dorkings, Dark Cornish, a Silkie, a Buff Orpington, Tolbunt Polish Crested Frizzles, a Silver Spangled Hamburg, Olive Eggers; she even hatched chicks from P. Allen Smith's breeding pens!
Like The Chicken Lawyer, The Chicken Chick® has fun naming her chickens!  Jump on her Facebook page, and you can enjoy following the antics of Rachel, Blaze, Ally McBeak, Calista Flockheart, Caesar, ellen deHeneres, Marilyn Monroe, Thelma & Louise, and Doc Brown to name a few!
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The Chicken Lawyer did not have to look far to find another chicken keeping lawyer. 

Perhaps they should offer a class in Poultry Law at The Northern Illinois University College of Law, because the school is hatching Chicken Lawyers! 

Both myself and Laura Hodge-Ulrich are new to the chicken keeping world.

Laura is a licensed attorney in Illinois and has practiced mainly injury law in both Central Illinois and Chicago. 
However, she grew up in a small farming community, so farming, 4-H, gardening and all that goes with it were second nature to her, too. When she had her own children and realized what a disconnect from the natural world they were going to have unless she made an effort to teach them how food grows, she decided to bring the "country life" back into her family. 
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Every year, she seeks out a local farm to visit and pick up hatching eggs to see how many chicks her family can hatch.  Laura notes that the “turning of the eggs” for 21 days is an amazing way to teach her children diligence and gentleness. It is also a very neat biology lesson to candle the eggs at different stages. Hatching day ranks with Christmas morning for excitement factor for her family!  

Like a true lawyer, Laura has meticulously studied humidity, yolk absorbing, dry membranes, positioning, etc!  Unlike most lawyers, Laura can tell you a story about chasing a weasel out of her chicken coop via water hose.  I asked Laura if she used her legal skills while raising chickens, and she promptly fired back that she was contemplating naming a chicken “Blackacre,” and then having mock trials regarding who really owns him. Folks, that might be the first Chicken Lawyer joke.  And, you heard it here first!
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Snoozing on the first day of class?
Thank you to both Laura and Kathy for contributing their stories and pictures!  You are amazing people doing amazing things!
If you are a Chicken Lawyer and would like to share your chicken tales and pictures, I want to hear from you!  You can connect with me on my own Facebook page!
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Be Fair, Or The Farmer Will Eat You!

4/27/2014

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Hold on to your seats, blog readers.  The Chicken Lawyer typically pays homage to the “Chicken” side of the blog, but today, The Chicken Lawyer is in the mood to talk about contracts.  It happens.  It’s just one of those many occupational hazards.  Don’t worry; there will still be chicken pictures!
PictureWhat does this have to do with contracts?

I’m in the mood for contracts because I’m working on my class syllabus for Business Law, which attempts to cover all things contract in 2 weeks.  My 1 goal in these 2 weeks is to convert my students into happy little contract geeks.  No longer should they look upon a contract with glazed expressions bemoaning the fates that should call upon them to read or write such a dull document!  Nay, they shall proceed with twinkles in their eyes, poised to encapsulate an agreement that will lay the foundation for a smooth and successful business transaction.

You may scoff, but I have seen the twinkle, and it is worth 10,000 diamonds to me.  Maybe even worth, say, 2 chickens.

PictureIt has absolutely nothing to do with contracts.
Most business students come to me quite jaded about contracts.  The perception is that contract review and negotiation is not an important skill, because that’s what lawyers are for, and big companies will just do what they want regardless of what is in the fine print.  That kind of thinking really chaps The Chicken Lawyer’s bum, so I do my best to erode the sentiment.

I also talk about the implied covenant of good faith and fair dealing in my class.  The bantam-sized version of this wordily named legal principle is this: whether the contract states it or not, all parties promise to act in “good faith” and deal fairly with one another.  Failure to do so breaches the covenant, and liability may ensue.

PictureIt doesn't matter - no one reads the article anyway!
This is an extremely important concept for students of contracts.  There is a lot of pressure in the business world to take advantage of every advantage in a contract situation.  Finding the “magic loophole” out of a contract is exalted in the media.  No one seems to make the news for their “good faith and fair dealing,” but, at heart, I know it is important to most.  

After all, it only takes ten minutes on a playground to hear the cry: BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!

PictureIt's all about the chicken pictures.

Life may not be fair, but that’s no reason for us to act unfairly ourselves.  

In the long run, fair dealing leads to better business relationships. The momentary advantage of exploiting a contract loophole does not compare.


PictureAlright. Who laid the green egg?
My chickens, of course, have no idea of what I babble about here.  They settle all of their legal disputes via the harsh court of pecking order.  He who pecks the hardest wins.  But even for the chickens, this is only a temporary solution.  The mean old rooster that lords over his hens and feed, bloodying everybody in his way, is always the first chicken in the pot when the farmer is feeling peckish.

PicturePhew, that was a close one.

So there you go: 
Be fair, or the farmer will eat you!

P.S.  No, there is no legal advice in this column.  
I didn’t even send you a bill!


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Flat Stanley Meets the Chickens

4/1/2014

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It's Spring! Wooly Bully, it's been a long Winter! The Chicken Lawyer has fought all natural Spring instincts and NOT added any new chickens to the flock.  It's been touch and go, but thank goodness, a little flat man named Stanley showed up in the mail from a very cool kid in Buffalo Grove, IL to provide a much needed distraction.  That's right, The Chicken Lawyer is talking about you, Phineas!

Flat Stanley enjoyed a tour of Osage County (including Frankenstein, MO) and even went to see mini-Stonehenge in Rolla, MO.  His favorite spot by far was outside with the chickens.  He is a natural with poultry.  A real chicken whisperer some might say.  I think it's the way he flaps in the wind like feathers.  He was a little too flappy sometimes, so I taped him to a paper towel tube and planted him in the ground with a stake.  Stanley didn't mind, and after awhile, all the chickens came to see him and tell him about life on The Chicken Lawyer Farm.  I caught the whole thing on film for Phineas (and You)!  

C'mon back anytime, Stanley!  
And bring Phineas & Family with you!
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One Year of Chicken Learnin’

3/3/2014

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PictureWillow, Production Red
This time last year, I was counting down the days to Chick Days at Orscheln's, staying up late plotting my chicken empire.  There was full-fledged chicken fever at The Chicken Lawyer’s farm, and I’m happy to report The Chicken Lawyer has NOT been cured!

I have resisted any urges to get even more chickens this Spring by getting a gigantic dog to occupy my time and planning a visit to a local farm that ordered over 200 chicks for my “Chick Fix”.  I promise to take pictures.

Since I am not setting up brooders or hatching eggs, I have a few moments to reflect on my first year of Chicken Learnin’.  Are you becoming a crazy chicken person this year?  Perhaps you would like to know what schooling you are in for?  

PictureAngel, Old English Silverback Bantam
Let me see if I can help.  Here are some lessons from my first year of chicken ownership.

#1 - You cannot have enough weather apps on your phone.  Get them all.  You will very soon need to be able to predict when it is a good idea to let the chickens out, so get cracking.  You can’t just trust the weatherman.  On a similar vein, you will soon know when the sun rises and when it sets with pin-point accuracy, because if you don’t, opossums will eat your chickens.  Don’t worry, they have apps for that, too.


PictureBuffy, White Sex-link
#2 - You are about to eat healthier.  And I’m not just talking better eggs and meat from your birds, I’m talking about a dramatic change in the things you will buy at the grocery store.  Your birds will so very much enjoy grapes, apples, zucchini, watermelon, cantaloupe, raisins, lettuce, yogurt, rhubarb, etc., that you will find yourself planning meals around desirable leftovers for your flock.  In fact, you may find you forgot to buy groceries for yourself at the grocery store, because you were so excited about the great deal on pears for the chickens, and you will have no choice but to eat pears, too.  If you are not careful, you will be GROWING YOUR OWN SPROUTS by Fall!


PictureSpike, Barred Rock
#3 - Zip ties, bungees, and tarp straps are your friend.  Zip zip!  You’ll be rigging up coop inventions and new ways to water and feed your birds in no time.  The first time the weather is set to hit single digits (which you will of course be ready for, See #1), you will be out in your coop running cords and stacking hay bales and fashioning special devices to keep your chickens from getting frostbite, so get down with your inner MacGyver and stock up on your zip ties.

#4 - You will experience the joy of giving.  Giving eggs that is...  People love farm fresh eggs.  You can give them to your mom, your aunts, your cousins, your friends, the carpenter that makes cabinets and gives you shavings for the coop in bags so big you can’t move them, the local 4-H kid that needs a project, and don’t get me started on how popular you will be on Easter!  

PictureDru the Roo, Bantam Cochin

#5 - Prepare yourself for the onslaught of chicken kitsch & chotchkies.  And chicken memes.  When people see anything that remotely resembles chickens, they will think of you, and they will tag you on Facebook.  I don’t know if it is all the good egg giving karma, but I’ve gotten some sweet chicken stuff this year.  It may seem small, but another bonus is that you now have your very own unique ice breaker.  Everyone loves a good chicken story.  I don’t think it is any coincidence that THE quintessential joke is about a chicken.

PictureTara, Production Red
#6 - You cannot tell a chicken what to do, so you will become a skilled chicken coaxer.  For example, there will be times when you need to get your chickens up in the coop, when they would much rather continue free-ranging.  You will probably be wearing a suit that day.  You cannot yell at a chicken or even chase chickens into a coop.  You will try, and you might get some of them in, but you will not get all of the chickens in, so just calm down and learn to woo your chickens.  It’s easier said then done, but you will develop chicken finesse with time.  

Chickens love their routines, so anytime you need to change it, plan on a certain amount of coaxing!

PictureCordie, Silkie
#7 - I think the absolute best thing about raising chickens is the “Running Chicken.”  I know I cried laughing the first time I watched my chickens learn to run on the concrete floor in my garage.  Don’t miss the chance to see your chickens run.  If you can let them free range, do.  I solemnly believe they would choose to take the risk of predation for a good run.  It’s your call to make, but I am still thrilled every time I see my chickens come running across the yard to greet me - wobble wobble hop hop running leap little air big flop big smile keep running Forrest run.  That’s the Cherokee name for my chicken, Cordie, BTW.

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#8 - Cancel your 2-week cruise to Greece.  Nobody wants to watch your chickens that long.  While chickens do much on their own, they require food, water, and someone to shut the coop door every single day.  Your chickens will also require something I did not appreciate until I got my chickens - “animal husbandry.”  Some of your chickens will be aggressive, and someone is going to get the sniffles, and someday you will find yourself watching videos on YouTube on how perform surgery on an impacted crop.  I wish you luck, but listen to those boy scouts:  Always be prepared.

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#9 - Welcome to the world of Crazy Chicken People.  Chicken people are the best.  Most likely, you will discover that you have 2,000 fabulous pictures of your chickens on your phone, and you will want to share them all.  You might start a blog and inflict them on your friends and family, but you will also discover that there is a chicken community out there on the internet and in your town that will embrace your chicken pictures and raise you 4,000.  
They will sit up late with you and help you calculate the proper dosage of Duramycin for your sick chicken, which will not be on the package.  They will help you find a home for your “Too Many Roos" and give you a giant dog.  They will be compilers of chicken raising information, enablers of your chicken habit, and consolers when you lose a friend, be it human or chicken.  I’ve been inspired by many chicken people.  While I can’t speak for them all, I feel confident in saying - “C’mon over! We can’t wait to meet you and talk some poultry!”

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A Feb-ROO-ary Farewell

2/8/2014

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Today, I gave away one of my first Roos.  It was time.  I told them cock fighting was illegal, but no one listens to The Chicken Lawyer...  

I'm not sure what roosters think about other roosters, but I speculate that after a certain age, it goes something like this: 
Did you look at my hen? Blooood! Death! Killlllll! I will peck your eyes out for that!!!!  

Sigh.  I asked the hens about it, and they came down clearly on the side of less roos, so after a particularly vicious reenactment of a Quentin Tarantino movie in my coop, I separated out the roosters and started looking up chicken noodle soup recipes.  

Not!  I am so not cut out for that yet.  

Thankfully, I live in a town where quite a few people keep chickens, so I was able to find a couple that was in the market for a new feathered fella.  They tell me they have 9 hens now (and more coming in the Spring), so my roo is in good company.

Farewell Roo! I will miss you, you old ornery coot.

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Jurassic Park: Chicken Lawyer Style

1/24/2014

2 Comments

 
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Sometimes, when it is negative degrees outside like it tends to be lately, The Chicken Lawyer leaves the chickens in the coop and enjoys a pot of steamy hot coffee  in the morning.   

This is when I tend to dream up elaborate schemes to finance my chicken obsession.  As an old acquaintance from college has taken to reminding me, chickens are gateway animals, so when I say chicken obsession, I really envision: 

  • a beautiful red barn for 10 goats, 6 alpacas, and 3 donkeys
  • about 100 chickens in 5 awesome coops, one of which will be a hobbit hole coop
  • 12 giant fluffy grey-white geese wandering my yard
  • 2 well-trained pyrenees
  • a goat tower
  • another barn for sheep plus my favorite hybrid, sheep-goats.
PictureWhat do you mean, too many roosters?
That’s about it for now.  I do believe this would properly solidify my hermit status and give me plenty of fodder for The Chicken Lawyer Blog.  Of course, I will keep Grasshopper and Maverick, but they prefer to remain inside, and away from all this nonsense.  So far, I have:
  • 14 chickens
  • too many roosters
  • 1 rickety old red barn
  • 2 awesome chicken coops
  • 1 old shed that looks good in pictures, but is about to fall in
  • 1 old hog nursery building begging me to convert it to a chicken coop 
  • fences in all the wrong places
  • abundance of passion, very few useful skills.

PictureCordie, auditioning for role as Lead Compy
This morning, I thought perhaps I could afford expanding 14 chickens to a Chicken Lawyer menagerie if I could charge admission.  But everyone in Osage County has their own farm, so why would they want to pay to see another???

Then, I thought of Jurassic Park.  (You randomly think of Jurassic Park, too, right? )  I was briefly enamored with the thought of building a Jurassic Park and filling its pens and fields with my 100 chickens.  You remember the Velociraptor pen? That could be for my barred rock roosters....  Compsognathus (Compys) could easily be portrayed by my Silkie chickens.... 

AND HOW FUN WOULD IT BE to rig up an outhouse that occasionally gets eaten by a giant chicken T-Rex? Imagine strategically placed outhouse below, plus some feathers and a beak on that T-Rex!  
PictureImage courtesy of Domdeen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.





Alas, how can I be a hermit while running a dino/poultry amusement park in my backyard?  

Inspired, I immediately searched the internet to see if someone else has built a Jurassic Park with chickens that I could go visit, but I did not find one.  I did find that the movie "Chicken Park" was produced in 1994 to parody Jurassic Park, and that interestingly one of the inspirations for Jurassic Park (Paleontologist Jack Horner) was uttering something for the last few years about using genetically modified chickens to grow dinosaurs.  Did someone at Tyson give Jack a job?

Hmmmm, maybe I can host retreats for eccentric paleontologists to observe chicken behaviors to fund my chicken paradise. I've always wanted to put my Paleobiology Minor to good use!
2 Comments

Snow Chickens

12/8/2013

3 Comments

 
In honor of the chickens' first day out in the snow, a little slideshow...
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    The Chicken Lawyer

    Amy M. Miller, owner of 7+3+4-1+4-1 -2 chickens (+ 1 cockatiel named Chicken). Occasionally has something to say and plans to say it here.

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